Holidays Abroad: Balancing Heartache and Adventure in a New Culture
The holidays were fast approaching. The Sørensen family had moved to Singapore in the middle of summer, but the continued humid air and glowing city lights felt incredibly odd as months went by. While they had started settling into their new lives, they were regularly reminded of how far removed they were from the frosty, candlelit evenings of Copenhagen. This was their first December in Asia, and the contrast couldn’t have been more striking. Gone were the hygge-filled gatherings, the familiar sound of Danish Christmas songs, and the comfort of being surrounded by loved ones. In their place were bustling hawker stalls, dazzling light displays, and a new sense of curiosity about how Christmas would feel in the tropics.
That curiosity, however, was paired with longing. Ten-year-old Emil looked up at his mother, Mette, one evening and asked, “Do you think it will still feel like Christmas without Grandma and Grandpa? Without it being cold outside?” His younger sister, Freja, added worriedly, “And how will Santa Claus find us here? We don’t even have a fireplace.”
For the Sørensens—and countless expatriate families—holidays spent far from home can be a paradox: a blend of nostalgia for the traditions left behind, excitement for new experiences, and the challenge of navigating both. How can families honor the bittersweetness of the holidays abroad while embracing the adventure of it all?
Leaning Into the Bittersweet
Holidays often highlight the distance between expatriates and their loved ones. Children may feel this acutely, especially when long-standing traditions seem out of reach. As parents, it’s tempting to focus solely on the positive, but creating space for heartache is essential. Striking a balance between discovering the new while grieving what’s been left behind is healthiest for the entire family.
It’s also important to recognize that each family member will process the experience differently. How we adapt in times transitions is deeply personal, shaped by our individual stories, personalities, and even how we’re feeling that day.
For Emil, missing the warmth of his grandparents’ home and the smell of freshly baked æbleskiver felt overwhelming. Freja, meanwhile, found herself imagining her friends back in Denmark and feeling left out of the memories they were making together. Their parents, Mette and Lars, decided to address these emotions openly. One evening, as they admired the light displays on Orchard Road, Lars said, “We all miss the traditions we love back home. And it’s okay to feel sad about that.” The acknowledgment brought tears to everyone’s eyes—some wiped away quickly, others left to gently slide down their cheeks.
Acknowledging bittersweet emotions doesn’t diminish the season; it enriches it. These conversations validate each family member’s experience and open the door to finding joy in the new. Over time, the longing may change, though it never fully disappears. Families may even find, when returning to celebrate in their home culture, that they miss certain aspects of their holidays abroad.
Discovering the Adventure of the Holidays Abroad
Once the Sørensens embraced the emotional complexity of their first Christmas in Singapore, they began to see the season through fresh eyes. The city’s unique blend of cultures offered new ways to celebrate: exploring the Christmas Wonderland at Gardens by the Bay, enjoying tropical twists on holiday treats, and learning about local customs from new acquaintances.
It felt strange to Emil and Freja not to bundle up, but their hearts gradually opened to the novelty of their surroundings. The unfamiliar often feels uncomfortable, but it also holds potential for growth. Over time, many children growing up internationally develop a deep appreciation for differences, along with empathy for others whose experiences deviate from theirs.
Parents can nurture curiosity by asking reflective questions like, What’s your favorite thing about how this place celebrates? or What’s the most interesting decoration you’ve seen so far? These small moments help shift the focus to the adventure of celebrating in a new way.
The Sørensens also learned to let go of perfection. When Mette and Emil attempted to bake a traditional Danish kransekage with unfamiliar ingredients, the result wasn’t what they remembered from home—but they laughed through the process and proudly dubbed it their “Singapore remix.”
Building New Traditions
While familiar customs may feel out of reach, experiencing the holidays abroad presents an opportunity to create something new. Blending old traditions with local customs allows families to feel grounded while embracing the adventure of their global life.
The Sørensens found comfort and creativity in merging traditions. They kept their custom of lighting advent candles every Sunday while also visiting a cultural center to make colorful lanterns. These small rituals helped them feel rooted while embracing the spirit of their host country.
One of their favorite new traditions was creating a “Holiday from Afar” Gift Box for their loved ones back in Denmark. Each family member contributed something that represented their life in Singapore, from local snacks to small crafts made during family afternoons. Emil added a drawing of the Christmas market at Gardens by the Bay, while Freja wrote short letters to her friends describing their new traditions. The box was both a way to share their experiences and a reminder of the connections that remained strong despite the distance.
Here are some other ideas for building new traditions:
Each tradition, whether carried from home or created anew, becomes a thread in the fabric of your family’s global story, weaving the familiar with the unexpected in ways that will be cherished for years to come.
Processing as a Family
At the heart of the holidays is connection, and for expatriate families, this becomes even more essential. Honest conversations can help bridge the gap between what’s been left behind and what’s being embraced.
The Sørensens made a point to share their holiday hopes and memories over a warm cup of gløgg made with a local twist. They laughed at stories of past Christmases in Denmark and talked about what they looked forward to in Singapore.
Consider these ways to process as a family:
Staying Connected to Loved Ones
While the Sørensens couldn’t be with their extended family, they used technology to stay connected. On Christmas morning, they gathered around a tablet for a video call with the grandparents, sharing the excitement of unwrapping presents together virtually.
For some, seeing loved ones on video calls may bring comfort; for others, it may amplify feelings of loss. This process looks different for everyone and can evolve over time. Finding what’s right for everyone can be challenging, so be open to the possibility that there will be some trial and error along the way.
A Season of Transformation
The holidays abroad are not about replicating what’s been left behind but about discovering beauty in what’s unfolding. The Sørensens found that their first tropical Christmas, while different, was no less meaningful. It became a season of blending past and present, of tears and laughter, and of growth and connection.
For families spending holidays in a new culture, remember: embracing both the heartache and the adventure can transform the season into a rich and memorable chapter of your global journey.
For families looking to celebrate the holiday across borders we are hosting the first-ever Global Family Holiday Card Exchange. You can join in on the fun here.
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