When ‘Home’ Is Two Places: How Global Families Decide Where Vacation Time Goes
Rodrigo is planning the family’s summer vacation. What should feel fun and exciting is starting to feel like an exercise in frustration and self-doubt.
Two years ago, he and Marcela moved with their sons, Benjamín and Tomás, from Chile to Calgary for Marcela’s job. Back then, the idea of living in Canada felt full of possibility. Good quality schools for the boys, new opportunities, and a whole continent to explore.
But day-to-day life has been more demanding than expected. Marcela’s work hours are longer. The boys are adjusting, but not always comfortably. And now, with two months of summer break ahead, the question of how to spend that time has brought underlying tensions to the surface.
Benjamín wants to attend a coding camp in Edmonton. Tomás wants to spend the summer in Santiago with family and friends. Marcela doesn’t have enough time off to travel for long. And the cost of even a short camp is comparable to a flight back to Chile.
What started as vacation planning has turned into a minefield of competing needs. Not the ideal starting point for a well-deserved family break.
A Familiar Tension for Global Families
Rodrigo and Marcela’s situation is far from unique. So many global families get caught in a similar conflict come summer, asking questions such as: “Should we stay or should we go?” “Is a home flight in our budget?” “What are our vacation options if we stay here?”
Different Needs, Shared Decisions
Complicating the answers to these questions are the emotional dynamics within many global families. Children may adapt to life abroad at different speeds, such as Benjamín wanting to go code with his new friends, while Tomás yearns for friends and family back home.
Parents often feel the pressure of aligning time, finances, and expectations. All while possibly working through your own adaptation process of living abroad, just like your children. Additionally, there is the ever-present tension between everybody’s needs on the one hand and decisions that affect the entire family on the other.
The Extra Weight of Expectations from Home
And let’s not forget that no family operates in a vacuum. Grandparents, extended family, and other loved ones back home are also emotionally invested. They may subtly (or not so subtly) put on pressure to see everyone back in the home country and make up for lost time.
Add to that the emotional weight home visits can cause. Especially if they are infrequent. If the entire family knows you may not be back for another year or more, being in the home country can turn from relaxing to stressful, as families try to see the right people, do the right things, and spend the appropriate amount of time with all the “stakeholders”.
Moving Beyond Either/Or
But what if the problem is not “either/or”? As with so many topics in global family life, there is no perfect solution. No way to keep everyone happy, or tick off all items of your family’s bucket lists. Nor is there a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, we can make conscious trade-offs when it comes to our (summer) vacations.
The only goal is to make sure you don’t lose sight of what they are supposed to be about: a time of relaxation, recharge, and relationships.
Making More Intentional Choices
On a more practical note, a few decision-making approaches can help in this. Such as creating a loose rhythm across the years, where the number of trips gets decided, as well as how much vacation time is spent on individual needs, how much time will be allocated to vacation time as a family, and how much time is available for home visits.
Another helpful reframing can be to stop thinking that connection is not necessarily tied to long visits. And that there are other regular rituals (like monthly video calls) that can also support connections and relationships back home.
As with most topics around global family life, involving the children in the decision-making process (to the extent that that is age-appropriate and feasible) is a great idea. When kids feel heard, they are happier and more supportive, no matter what the final decision ends up being. A great tip in this regard is that when children can not be involved in the big decisions, to involve them in the smaller decisions instead. Such as where to stay, or what to eat.
It is also helpful to openly discuss existing constraints with the entire family. Good questions to ask may be: Do we have enough time for all we want to do this summer? What is our budget for the vacation, and what options can we realistically choose with that budget? How is our family’s collective energy level and which of the options will drain us rather than help us recharge?
What This Could Look Like in Practice
One option Rodrigo begins to consider is splitting up over the summer. Tomás could spend a few weeks in Santiago with his grandparents, something that would give him the reconnection he is craving. In the meantime, Benjamín could attend the coding camp he is so excited about, even if it requires extra planning and a long drive. It is not the kind of shared family holiday Rodrigo had imagined, but it might meet each child where they are right now.
Another possibility is to step back from trying to satisfy every need in a single summer. Instead of traveling to Chile this year, the family could focus on staying in Canada: keeping things simpler, less expensive, and less rushed. That choice would come with disappointment, especially for Tomás, but it could also create space for a different kind of family experience, one that reflects the life they are building now. A shorter trip to Chile will then be planned for December.
Neither option feels entirely right. But for Rodrigo and Marcela, the decision may not be about finding the perfect plan, it may be about choosing, consciously, which trade-offs this summer is meant to hold.
Redefining What “Home” Means
In general, the concepts of “home” and “time off” are more complex for global families than for those who have never left their passport country. As many global families know, complicated does not mean any less beautiful. And being intentional with our choices is always preferable to trying to get everything right.
Continue this conversation
Inclusion is a key factor in living a happy global family life. We hope the resources in this article help you, and understand if you may feel that you need more assistance for your family to thrive. You can simply book a free Family Support Discovery Call with one of our Global Family Experts to discuss your needs and learn how we can help.
In the month that this article is published (July 2026) our team hosts a live webinar that addresses “Stop Saving It for “Someday”: Making the Most of Life Abroad While You’re There”. Register for our Guidebook Plan to join this webinar, or watch the recording afterwards.
« Back