Behind the Smiles: The Hidden Struggles of Global Kids Facing Bullying
Kento, an eleven-year-old from Tokyo, had always been cheerful and adaptable. Four months ago, when his family relocated to the UK for his father’s job, he was curious and hopeful about making new friends at his international school. However, over the last few weeks, his demeanor shifted. He stopped talking about school and seemed reluctant each morning. Eventually, Kento shared that classmates were laughing at his accent and teasing him about the lunches he brought from home. Even a neighbor’s child had begun calling him names.
Kento’s parents felt confused and heartbroken. They had anticipated adjustments, but not exclusion or what felt like cruelty. While Kento’s experience may not reflect every globally mobile journey, it highlights an often overlooked reality: bullying and exclusion can follow families across borders and deserve honest conversation.
What Can Bullying Look Like in International Life?
Bullying in a global context can be subtle, culturally coded, or dismissed as a misunderstanding. For globally mobile children, it can take forms that may not be immediately obvious.
In school, it may show up as exclusion from group activities, mimicking accents, or mocking cultural traditions. On the playground or in the neighborhood, it might be as simple as name-calling or body language that intimidates. Online it can take the form of exclusion from group chats or messages shared in gaming spaces. Even outside of these settings, children who stand out, whether through appearance, habits, or accents, may face dismissive or hostile responses rooted in stereotypes or xenophobia.
Because children may lack the words or context to describe what they’re feeling, their distress can show up in indirect ways such as withdrawal, sudden mood changes, or a sudden reluctance to attend school or try new things. This was true for Kento. He didn’t initially say what was wrong. He simply grew quieter and stopped asking to go outside. That’s why it’s so important for parents to stay curious and attentive to these emotional cues.
Discrimination vs Cultural Misunderstanding vs Ignorance
When you hear the word bullying, it can feel like one-size-fits-all. However, not all hurtful behaviors come from the same place. Understanding the intent behind the words or actions can help you respond more thoughtfully and effectively.
In Kento’s case, his classmates may not have realized how deeply their teasing would affect him. Was it ignorance, misunderstanding, or something more? His parents couldn’t be sure. What mattered most was the hurt their son was feeling.
Sometimes it is difficult, even impossible, to determine why someone behaves in a hurtful way. Was the intention to exclude? Was it simply unfamiliarity? Regardless of the motivation, the behavior still stings. Pausing to reflect on what might be happening beneath the surface allows families to approach the situation with more understanding and less reactive judgment.
Practical Steps Families Can Take
Addressing bullying in an international context involves actions at school, at home, in the neighborhood, online, and within the culture.
At School
Arrange a meeting with teachers or school counselors to share what you’re noticing. Ask how the school approaches nclusion and intercultural challenges. Help your child identify adults at school they can trust. When Kento’s parents did this, his teacher organized a classroom discussion about cultural lunch traditions. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.
At Home
Establish routines that offer emotional safety and chances to check in. Mealtimes, story time, or walks can open space for conversation. Use books and stories to rehearse empathy and explore what kindness looks like. When Kento’s mom shared a story about being laughed at for her accent years ago, he finally opened up. It helped him see he wasn’t alone.
In the Neighborhood
Take walks with your child and casually debrief any odd interactions. If there are kind peers, arrange casual playdates to create positive social bridges. Kento was invited to play football by a kind neighbor’s son, a moment that helped rebuild trust outside of school.
Online Spaces
Monitor group chats or gaming spaces. Ask what it feels like to be part of those communities. Teach your child how to block or report when something feels off. Remind them that being kind online is just as important as being kind in person.
In the local Culture
Talk about differences in humor, teasing, and personal space. Kento had no frame of reference for “British banter” and felt hurt by what others thought was joking. Helping him name the cultural dynamic didn’t erase the pain, but it helped him understand that not all joking is meant to wound, and how to respond when it does.
When Your Child Is Bullied: What Parents Often Feel
Kento’s parents went through waves of guilt and confusion. Were they wrong to relocate? Did they choose too quickly? They also felt stuck, unsure how to speak up in a foreign school system. Their feelings of isolation grew until they found support through a local expat parent group.
When a child is bullied, especially in a new cultural environment, parents often experience a powerful mix of emotions. Here are four of the most common:
Guilt and Self-Blame
You may replay decisions over and over. Did relocating hurt them more than it helped? Were we selfish putting career goals ahead of their well-being? These questions are normal and the answer is rarely simple.
Powerlessness
In an unfamiliar system, you may wish you could fix things but not know where to begin. Language barriers, confusing policies, or cultural differences can all leave you feeling stuck.
Isolation
You may feel like no one truly understands your experience. Not your child’s friends, not family back home, and maybe not even your partner. Without a strong support network, these feelings can weigh heavily.
Uncertainty About How to Respond
Do you push back strongly or hold back to preserve harmony? Which approach is culturally respectful, and which is effective? These gray areas can be frustrating when there’s so much at stake.
If you’re feeling any of these, you’re not alone. These are not signs of weakness. They reflect your deep investment in your child’s happiness and safety. And remember, seeking help for yourself is just as important as helping your child. Expat Valley’s Family Support Consultants are available to help you work such things through!
The Surprising Gifts of Empathy and Growth
Even in the toughest seasons, there is room for growth. Facing adversity alongside your child can build empathy, resilience, and connection both for yourself and for them. In time, Kento’s family realized that naming their pain opened the door to healing, not only for their son but for themselves as well.
Here’s what many global parents tell us: it’s often in the messy, unplanned moments that the deepest transformation happens. These chapters are not detours but part of the journey toward deeper courage, deeper relationships, and deeper belonging.
When to Seek Additional Help
If bullying persists or deepens anxiety, fear, or sadness, especially over weeks or months, it may be time to invite specialized support. Consider connecting with:
Early support doesn’t signal failure. It signals love, commitment, and proactive care.
Helping Your Child Feel Safe and Seen
Bullying is painful anywhere, but in a new culture it can feel magnified. Children navigating unfamiliar environments need more than survival skills. They need reassurance, strategies, stability, and above all, a loving home base.
By listening with empathy, responding with clarity, and partnering with schools and professionals, parents can guide their children through adversity and model what it means to meet conflict with courage and kindness.
At Expat Valley, we walk with global families through every chapter of relocation. If your child is facing bullying or emotional challenges during this stage of life, we invite you to schedule a free Discovery Call with one of our Family Support Consultants.
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